Turns out I had time
On removing the noice and what I discovered in the silence
Notes on happiness
issue #03
One of the things I have struggled with before has been finding time to do more of the things I enjoy, and this week I got a very clear indication where my time has been spent. More than I would like to admit. I deleted TikTok and suddenly it became very clear exactly how much time I had been spending doomscrolling. Cue my expression
Cause I, like millions of others, had been telling myself I was not spending that much time on the app.
I have complete control!
Oh the lies we tell ourselves.
Deleting the app was a long time coming. I had been hesitant to actually pull the trigger due to much of the joy the app actually brought me. On there I had found and curated a really nice feed of the things I love, ranging from history content creators, to various artists using mixed media, and funny random videos about life. Some of my favourites include content creators who made entire mini movies with handmade paper figures or digital art, as well as those who made movies using only themselves as different characters. It never ceases to amaze me how creative people are!
So leaving all that felt like it would be a loss.
Luckily for me, I spent some time looking into my favourites and have found them on different platforms that I use with more intention and don’t end up doomscrolling for hours.
The first two days, it really struck me how addictive the app was. I was suddenly in this weird space of constantly picking up my phone, only to realise I don’t have the app to scroll on. I ended up feeling confused, like I needed to be entertained constantly.
I am not gonna lie, the silence those two days was LOUD.
By the third day I had this revelation that I don’t have to be entertained all the time. Silence is good. Silence can be very peaceful. And within that silence I found myself reaching for the things I enjoy doing, but previously never seemed to have enough time for. Like writing. I actually had time to write a full draft over one evening, and not just trying to schedule time to do it between the punches.
This week I have had so much more time to do these creative things without feeling guilty or rushed. I just had time.
Go figure!
Happiness, noted
In that time I found several happy moments. The two things that tie them together are the silence, the quiet moments of contentment and people in my life that bring me joy.
The group of women that I train with has this unique way of not only bringing out joy on even the toughest days, but also creating connection. This week boxing was hard, I feel like I have forgotten everything I learned last semester. However, I spent most of the time laughing and enjoying being a child again with the different drills and games we played during our training sessions. I am really looking forward to next week’s sessions!
The sun. The winter on the northern hemisphere can be cosy and really beautiful. Nevertheless, the darkness really impacts me — so seeing the sun as I left my office building this week, brought enormous joy. We are finally on the other side of it, spring comes closer every day as the days grow longer.
A random moment of overwhelming happiness. I have no clue where it came from or what sparked it. But suddenly, in the middle of the workday I had a really good feeling of being happy. Happiness noted!
Coffee date with a close friend. I love these mini dates we have from time to time. Discovering new places, cafes and sitting down to sketch the people we see. Find yourself a friend that you can sit in silence with. There is no greater connection than this.
Going to bed an hour before I usually do and just have time to properly read. I have always read before going to bed, but for the longest time it’s been somewhere between 15-30 minutes and it was not as satisfying as it has been this week. I didn’t realise that the past year, my reading time has had a feeling of being a bit rushed — this week it was just the length I needed to be.
Reading lately
Obviously this week has been a good reading week since I suddenly discovered I had time to actually sit down with a book like I used to when I was a kid. My reading time has drastically grown the past few days.
With it, I finished Flowers for Algernon and I am now really hyped to dive into what the bookclub thinks of this story. Being one of my favourites I had a really good time with this reread, and it hit harder the second time around.
Two more books were added to my nightstand this week. I decided to go for a classic that has been on my shelves for ages
It’s been quite a while since I read anything by Austen so now seemed to be the right time for it. I noticed that this is a book that requires me to focus more due to how it is written, so it will one of those books I will spend some time with.
The second book to find its place on my nightstand is one that I have heard so much about, and is constantly referred to a forgotten gem within the genre. Or perhaps overlooked. It is the first book in Memory, Sorrow and Thorn series by Tad Williams; The Dragonbone Chair. I am still at the very beginning and it has caught my attention, so I am excited to see where this will go.
A week filled with happy moments and good reads, there is really nothing better than that.
Until next time,
happy reading!✨
